“What’s Happening to Her?” A Man’s Guide to Understanding Menopause Without Mansplaining It

The woman you love may be changing— and not in ways she can always explain. She might cry more easily. Sleep less. Snap at things that never used to bother her. And while she may not say it out loud, she’s probably wondering: Am I still me?

Menopause isn’t a moment. It’s a complex transition that begins years before a woman’s final period and continues for a decade or more. It affects over half the population, yet remains poorly understood— and so many women have partners who want to help but don’t know how. This isn’t about fixing menopause. It’s about learning what women and those with female reproductive anatomy go through so you can show up with real care.

Biologically, menopause is triggered by declining estrogen and progesterone. But the impact isn’t just hormonal— it’s whole-body. According to the Mayo Clinic, more than 34 symptoms are linked to menopause, from hot flashes and night sweats to anxiety, fatigue, and joint pain. Brain fog, heart palpitations, and even changes in body odor aren’t uncommon. This can leave many women feeling disoriented, frustrated, and unheard— especially if their symptoms are dismissed or minimized.

Here’s where you come in: not as an expert, but as an anchor. Ask her what she’s feeling. Offer to learn alongside her. Let her know you don’t expect her to be the same every day. Studies show that relational support during menopause improves emotional wellbeing, reduces stigma, and deepens long-term intimacy. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just be willing to say, “I’m with you. What do you need today?”

Start with resources like The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter, or partner guides from Dr. Louise Newson’s Menopause Charity. You’ll quickly see that this transition isn’t something to be feared—it’s something to be supported. With compassion, curiosity, and presence, you can help her feel like herself again— even as that self continues to evolve.